Sofia Kauko-Valli is a Social Entrepreneurship teacher at the University of Jyvaskyla, Finland. Due to her keen interest in areas of Happiness and spirituality, she runs a Happiness Clinic at her university and coaches people professionally on how to be happy!

We carried an article earlier on Sofia revealing the secrets of happiness. Now she talks about forgiveness, mindfulness and healing.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 How do you believe a fractured society can heal itself?

To me it all starts with you and me. If we want to heal the society we need to become the change we want to see and in a sense we need to rise up and take 100% responsibility for what is, even if it was handed to us by other people. I

It is important to understand that we are not isolated from each other but that we are part of a whole. If someone else is suffering it is not their problem only, it should be ours too because we all are connected to each other. I think healing follows when we stop thinking about ourselves only and about what we can get out of events and situations and start concentrating on what we can do, what we can change and what we can contribute to.

Although it may seem that the change is very slow in the beginning I think the breakthroughs will come quickly as more and more people become aware and concentrate on their own piece in the puzzle.

 

 

 

 

 

 

What aids forgiveness?

I really love this question. For me forgiveness was a really hard thing for so many years. When I felt offended I could not imagine forgiving the other person because I felt it was so unfair - they would not get what they deserve and they would get off the hook somehow. It took me a long time to realize that holding onto offence came with a high price, namely growing bitterness. I reached my personal breakthrough when someone defined unforgiveness as - drinking poison and expecting someone else to die. How true that was. While I was simmering in my grudges the other person went happily about their life not maybe even realizing they had been an offence in the first place.

The other thing that really helped me was to understand my own need for forgiveness. I have come to the conclusion that it really is easy to forgive if you understand that unforgiveness only hurts your own life and concentrate more on your own walk than on the faults of others.

What is mindfulness and how can one achieve it?

To me mindfulness is all about being actively aware and present in the Here and Now. I don’t really know how others describe it, but to me it is all about presence. I think for many people, especially those who have adopted the western crazy lifestyle, being present with all of your senses, soul, spirit & body is really hard. The mind has a race on its own. Either constantly rehashing some past events and situations or thinking about what will be in the future.

In a sense we are never in the present as part of us is constantly somewhere else. Being mindful to me is very healing and invigorating. Achieving mindfulness is also easy although it takes some practice. You can do it anywhere, in any kind of situation. The most mundane tasks - like washing dishes by hand - can be made into a mindfulness exercise. The point is to captivate your thoughts, to silence them and choose to be in the here-and-now experiencing what is going on with all of your senses. For instance, if you have a habit of worrying you can tell yourself that you will most certainly worry on Tuesdays between 1 and 2 pm and let go of the worry thoughts and come back into the Here-and-Now. It takes some practice but finding a place of just being, being without judgments or expectations, just experiencing what is, is well worth it.

So often in life we seem to forget that we really were created to be human beings - just being alive and aware, instead of always doing something, always trying to achieve something.

Is success in life linked to spirituality in your opinion?

Yes. I think so. Spirituality to me is all about finding meaning and purpose in life regardless of what form the practice of your daily spiritual life takes. The most successful people seem to know this and really live a life that is in line with their strengths and values in life. You could say that they live authentic lives. To me spirituality is also about connection - being connected to oneself, to other people around yourself and to something far greater than oneself, whatever you like to call it.